I am fortunate enough to see and meet a lot of people in my walks of life. One of the things I have noticed more and more are those individuals who constantly complain about their issues/frustrations of who they are trying to date.

As an example, “I go to the gym because I want someone physically fit” then this person complains that who they are dating spends more time at the gym than home with them. Or they complain this person is more concerned about admiring themselves first, thinking about themselves more than their partners or always putting themselves first. When someone is at the gym and they are always having to work out in front of a mirror or can’t pass a mirror without stopping to admire the view, what do you think they are going to be like outside the gym?

Now, I just used the gym as an example. You can substitute any activity in its place like playing video games, always on social media, etc and get the same understanding. Here’s my suggestion, get to know the inside first. Don’t judge them by their looks. So someone isn’t as skinny as you normally like. So they don’t go to the gym everyday or even at all. When we get stuck on how people look as the only reason to date them, don’t bitch when things don’t work out.

Get to know people for who they are and not what they look like. Do they make you laugh? Do they listen? Do they truly care about you or how your day was? Do they make you happy? An most important, do they treat you as an equal? If you can answer yes to these usually means you have found a good one. If not, look elsewhere. If your “type” of person isn’t working, you need to change your type.

Relationships should never be

and most definitely should never be

Neither one of the above scenarios will lead to a healthy relationship. Having absolutely nothing in common won’t make a lasting relationship and having no differences, while easy to understand, also won’t make a lasting relationship. First you both need to be individuals and then you need to have an area where you overlap. This me, them, us scenario usually produces the strongest and longest lasting relationships.

You have who you are as a whole, they have who they are as a whole and then you both share a portion of each other to make the “us” area of our lives.

Relationships are complex and complicated. Don’t give up who you are for them or expect them to give up who they are for you. Find the middle ground while maintaining each individual. And above all, COMMUNICATE.

There are things in our lives that we can never change. Family is one of them. Blood is blood, whether we like it or not. We may not always agree, hell, we may not get along but we are still family. As I get older, my personal views on family have changed. Growing up, it was always blood that was family. Trying to explain in-laws to a 4-5 year old isn’t usually successful. 😁

Now family to me is anyone I care about. 2019 had its ups and downs for me which is probably no different than most. Just over halfway through the year I found my biological father who unfortunately had passed away a few years before. It would have been nice to sit down and talk with him but that won’t be. The positive thing though is that I found I had 2 more sisters that I never knew about and a whole extend family to boot. This still amazes me as I type this blog entry. We may not have met in person yet but they are still family.

On a rougher note, October 2019 also found me being diagnosed with early stage colon cancer. I wasn’t having any issues. My personal doctor just recommended I have a colonoscopy as I was getting to that age. About a month later I was having surgery to remove a large section of my colon, though I am told we have a lot to spare. This illness definitely has made me appreciate me family that much more because we don’t know how long we will have them. It also made me look at those friends in my life and what they all mean to me. There are friends I wish I was closer to both figuratively and literally. That’s one of the perks of all this technology. No matter how far apart we are geographically you all are still right here next to me.

Life is short and we get those reminders all the time. Love those in your life like there is no tomorrow. Live today to its fullest so you have no regrets. Keep those close to you even closer and tell those you love that you love them.

Now before you go assuming what this post is about, it’s not really about milk. SURPRISE, SURPRISE. It’s about Communication, Relationships and Needs.

Relationships can be tough/trying at times. You have two individuals with two different sets of experiences, two different sets of beliefs and two different sets of expectations. Add into that mix the ingredients of satisfying the other person physically (yes, I’m talking about sex), mentally and emotionally. These added ingredients can add a lot of pressure to the relationship. One also needs to remember that this is and should always be a two-way street.

The other item to keep in mind is that no gender is immune from these needs/wants or the pressure and stress that comes from it all. I personally am a firm believer that no relationship should be based solely on the physical/sexual pleasure component of the relationship. If it is, more often than not, it will fail, fail quickly and fail in spectacular fashion for all to bear witness to. We, as humans, need to have all of our needs met in order to create a strong and lasting relationship.

Now, before you start to get mad at me or more mad at me for this topic/ conversation, please understand that I bring this up so others will actually have the courage to talk about it. As a society, we have become so afraid of “starting something” that we just don’t say anything. You could be in what you see as a great relationship personally but if you are missing something in the relationship and don’t vocalize it to the other person you will eventually start to feel the pull to leave or spend more time with someone else who fills that void within you.

My analogy for this is that if you go to the store for milk but they are out of it and you keep going back to the same store for milk but they are still out of milk, eventually you will just go to another store and another store until you find one that has milk. When this happens, both parties are at fault in my opinion. You for not stating your needs/desires to your partner at a bare minimum and your partner for not wanting/caring to meet the others needs to satisfy the imbalance in their life. By no means am I condoning this negative behavior (shopping at other stores for milk while keeping this store), I also don’t want to hear the individuals complain when it does happen. It is inevitable in any relationship that if needs aren’t being met/satisfied, they will cheat or leave to fill those needs.

Communication is a must in any strong relationship! I encourage you to be friends first. Don’t be afraid to talk about the hard stuff before adding the physical/sexual component of the relationship into play. The sooner you can do that the healthier your relationship should be and the more enjoyment you both should get out of life. Life is too short so get yourself some milk. 😁

I was born and raised in Iowa with midwestern attitude and work ethic. This blog will be where I share pieces of my mind and life. I hope to bring some entertainment and maybe some enlightenment to those who visit.

I am who I am and don’t tend to lean one way or the other. There will be times I may seem liberal and in the next breathe seem conservative. I am though a firm believer that no one is 100% one or the other. We live in a large gray world and there is nothing wrong with being fluid to what your life brings and what you need.

You may ask why me and why here.

• I’ve been sharing my thoughts and life in classrooms for decades so why not share to a larger audience.
• No topic is off limits or taboo.
• My blog is open to anyone and everyone – diversity is the fabric of life.